April Holec, Come On Dowwwwn

{{A quick congratulations to the winners of my book giveaway! My coworker Kathryn nabbed the physical copy (which is nice so I didn’t have to mail it!) and e-copies went out to some Zipporah and Kristin! Let me know how you like it, guys!}}

Writers find each other. Not even on purpose, sometimes, but they do. When I met my dear friend April (aka Deni), I had no idea she was a writer. I only knew that we clicked immediately in a way I’ve seldom experienced. April isn’t published yet, but it’s a matter of time, first because she’s good, and second because she’s persistent, which is sometimes even more important than good. She just started a writing blog at aprilholec.wordpress.com, and we decided to interview each other for our respective blogs — with questions a little further from the beaten path than the conventional “where do you get your ideas.” So, to see me answer peculiar questions like how to eradicate baked beans from the surface of the earth, see my interview there. And to meet a rising author who is kind of weird and does not seem to like the superpower I gave her (or maybe she likes it too much…), keep on reading here!

Welcome to my blog, April! I have some extremely important questions for you. Which Hogwarts House would you least want to be in?

Well. That’s a tricky one. I self-identify as a Ravenclaw as Wit Beyond Measure is Man’s Greatest Treasure and I consider myself the most sarcastic and wittiest person I know. I was going to say Gryffindor but alas, I play Roller Derby and that is pretty much the most Gryffindor sport outside of Quiddich that I can think of. I love Slytherins because they are resourceful and ambitious, something that I really see in myself. I hate to say it, but probably Hufflepuff. Mostly because while I admire the traits of hard work, loyalty, and diligence, I am fickle, lazy and I’m often looking for ways around working too hard so that I can get more done with less effort. Alas, some of my very bestest of friends are Hufflepuffs and I don’t want to offend them. I just can’t BE like them. That’s ok right? We all need a little variety in our friends.

You’re given the opportunity to earn a living at writing, but it can only be Naruto fanfic. Full-time. For the rest of your working life. Do you take it?

There will be other opportunities.

I mean, there have to be right?

Besides, I’d be a terrible Naruto fanfic writer as I know pretty much zero about the series outside of what I’ve see pass me on the internet.

Would you rather have wings or venomous fangs?

Wings. Totes would rather have wings. If I had wings then I could fly and play Quiddich. And also see the world. It would be easy to build my house in a tree. I could save so much on airfare!

If you needed to charm your way into a top-secret facility, what tactics would you try?

Hmmm. First, I would do a lot of research on the layout of the facility, hack into the systems to get passwords and learn what the shift schedules are. Then I’d locate their janitorial staff and slip in with a mop and bucket. No one ever pays attention to their cleaning crew.

Shoes or purses?

Purses. Every single time Purses. Purses are lovely little caves of wonder that you carry around. They can match your clothes, match your personality, match your needs. I have two bins full of purses. I love the clutch kind because you can take it out to party without having to use a bra or a friend’s pockets. I like the small hip kind because they usually have those cute, long strings. I like the big huge bags that can hold 1/10th of a library, a laptop, a brick and a full course dinner. My favorite are messenger bags. I got one for my birthday two years ago and that thing has been my favorite and most used purse ever. It’s aptly called “A Bag of Holding”.

Your next novel is guaranteed, via genie-wish or some such, to be the new Great American Novel. What do you write about?

Well if it’s the Great American Novel that means it’s in the Literary category that some poor college student will probably be forced to read. If I were interested in writing that type of book, I would write about the way class systems in a capitalistic society alienate and isolate people from success. How we are told as children that we can have whatever we want but then when we grow up we find that the world is actually skewed in the favor of those who had more capital and resources to start their journeys. I would write a book about how opportunity is the hymn of the United States but they ignore the baseline of poverty, poor education, healthcare and equality. I feel like I grew up in the second Gilted Age, an age where everything was suppose to be so shiny and available and yet I and my peers are still scrambling to figure out how to adult in this world that treats us like it’s all our fault that we haven’t ‘made it’ yet.

Your new superpower is control over cockroaches. Discuss.

Their awful little feet shall slide in due time. Under the cultivation of hell, they brought forth bitter and repulsive fruit, scrambling their wicked exoskeletons over trash and treasure alike. In their evil defiance for all human boundaries I shall smite them down, expose them to annihilation and cast them down into destruction! There would be NOTHING that would keep the wicked cockroach from the fires of damnation. There would be no plea, no power strong enough to resist my command. All in vicinity and lo! to the limits of this power shall be summoned and issued forth to wither and twist with wretched pain and horrific slaughter. None shall survive the reckoning that I, shall bring forth!!!

Which of your original characters would be most likely to kill you in your sleep for what you’ve done to them?


Hmm. Probably Robert, from one of my first NaNoWriMos. He ended up in Auschwitz for 80% of the book. The novel is currently un-finished and I never did decide his ultimate fate…..

You get to elect the next President of the United States, all by yourself! It can’t be you. Who is it?

Tina Fey. Hands down. She understands politics. She’s a brilliant business woman. She’s hilarious. She’s run writer rooms for SNL so I figure politics can’t be that hard. She delegates well and has good stage presence. John Oliver for VP though since he’s not a Natural Citizen…Beyonce. Yeah. Beyonce for Vice President.

What do you wish you could change about your writing?

I wish I could make drafting easier. I have a hard time getting the first set of words onto a page. It’s only after I’ve got a good couple of thousand down that I know what I’m doing. It would be nice to be the type of writer who could put down exactly what I mean the first time around, but I often have to re-write entire pages of scenes or chapters multiple times before it comes out the way I wanted it. I recently had put in 20 pages onto a chapter of a work in progress and I hated everything I was putting down. It wasn’t until I’d gotten all of the crap out of my system that I realized I’d erred on page 7 and GOODBYE 13 pages! I then wrote 27 pages. And they were way, way better.

Thank you for this interview! It’s been a lot of fun. I know I haven’t published anything yet, but I’m chugging away.

You are, and you’re gonna get there. Thank you for stopping by!

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